I have to admit, I feel I'm writing this as my own declaration or testimony, as of late. This JC devotional book has been incredibly personal and seems to hit home regularly. I think others are benefiting from it, but most days it points directly at me! The timing is comically perfect, proof that our Lord has the perfect sense of humor. And His timing is always perfect. So last week, JC said "rest for awhile with Me." It's been a tough road for several years now. So I'm taking a week off from work to breathe. I'm very thankful for His leading in this. It's time to refresh and regroup. I tend to get reflective, so I appreciate JC directing me to practice being with Him in this present moment, not in the past or the future. This is good teaching. It stated this is the highest level of trust: to be connected and at peace. But to "enjoy" the Lord in this moment? He is drawing me into new territory here. I come short of enjoying Him. Maybe He is transforming my romantic thoughts as I begin a new chapter in this life. He knows I've been disallusioned by failed romantic hopes of unity, brotherhood, ministry, reputation, and the like. Maybe true romance involves me living in the present, more and more. I sense Him transforming my anxieties, for sure. It's a miracle, really. He is calling me out to really trust Him to provide. I've actually found myself doing this, and that is amazing. He is strengthening me to be a practitioner of trust. I am having faith that He will provide the exact things needed, when it comes to the issues that have welcomed so much anxiety over the years. I seem to be a thinker, always examining and preparing for different scenarios to play out. An earlier JC warned me to not measure my strength up against my situations, for my strength alone cannot hold up. There is way too much going on behind the scenes. I would only end up exhausting myself if I attempt to engage as if I can handle them alone. No, instead, it's time to practice tapping into the power source. I call it "rolling with His flow" now. I am to pray and bring my requests to Him. I'm to trust that He is completely good. I'm to believe He has heard me and has my best interests in mind, as well as everyone elses. I'm to have faith He will provide the means to cope with my situations. I am to practice realizing His presence with me everywhere I go. He intends for me to have at my disposal His peace, power, wisdom, love, patience, and any and all other fruits of being connected to His Holy Spirit. My job is not my identity. I do not get my esteem from my occupation. My being is rooted in Christ the Lord! He is my confidence and strength! I reckon He will give me just the right amount of people to help me walk this life out and accomplish my purpose on Earth until He is ready for me to come home. I must remember Jesus' story when He was in this crazy world. Nobody could bring it like He did. When it comes to romance of ministry, He experienced great difficulties. He fled for His life many times, not even having a solid, safe place to lay His head. He looked brokenheartedly at the very people He loved, knowing they just didn't get it. He watched those closest friends run away when He needed them. He experienced the agony of betrayal. He was killed. It doesn't get any worse than all of that. So much for romance...Like I said, this writing is more for me personally. This is a defining moment for me. This is an abandonment of worldly romance. This is a turning of my devotion towards connecting with Him on a moment to moment basis. This is me resting in Him. I don't know where He might lead me in the future, but I know He is with me, and He will provide all that I need. The question is: "will I be with Him in all of these uncertain circumstances?". I lay down all of the anxieties that are associated with things turning out as they should or as I want them to. I'm going to roll with His flow. There's just too much going on behind the scenes, out of my control. Lord, You are the creator of my life. Make it all You can make it.
